the rest of the picture.

She was wearing an orange and purple, green and blue, tye-die tube top and very large, what looked like men's, red, black, and white, plaid pajama pants, with badly worn beige sandals, as she carried her three month old baby boy in his car seat. "He's really big for three months," she said. "He is, he's bigger than my seven month old," I said. It was hard for her to carry him in the car seat, and if you've carried a baby around in a car seat, you know the difficulty I'm talking about. She carried him far, and I mean far. She was visibly tired by the time she made it to her car. "It's almost easier to carry him without the seat," she said. "I know, I usually put mine in a carrier or a stroller," I said. We shared a smile and I told her to enjoy the rest of her day. I got in my car, she and her baby got in theirs, and we parted ways.

It's wonderful how social media has streamlined the "sharing" process. It keeps us connected, it gives us new perspectives, and it challenges us along the way. But life via social media, blogs, forums, etc., doesn't always give us the whole picture.

When all we do, all we are, and all we hope to be is thought to be seen by everyone, we make sure we approve of what we allow others to see, and we let what we see of others determine the value of ours. For some of us, this may be a constant struggle. But I can almost guarantee, at some point, we've all seen the way someone portrays their life, via social media, and thought to ourselves, "They're so much better at ______ than me." 

It happens. To the best of us, it happens. At some point in time, we saw something on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, a blog we follow, YouTube, something, somewhere, that struck a nerve. For some, this nerve might be struck over, and over, and over again. For others, it may rarely be struck. But this is for the people who's twitchy nerve likes to get the best of them...

Look at yourself, your life, your worth, your dignity...through a better lens, and try to see the rest of the picture.

In regards to motherhood and social media, I see what other women do, how other people seem, and there are days, there are times, when I fail to measure up. And I will never measure up, because very simply, I am not them. Even though we share universal sentiments, my motherhood looks like mine,  and your motherhood looks like yours. For this reason, yours and mine are just as beautiful. I can't live your life and you can't live mine. And as much as social media likes to count and measure approval, you can't measure beautiful.

One of my best friends reminded me the other day, motherhood doesn't look the same for everyone.  Some moms take time to get all prettied up in the morning, some moms don't. Some moms speak gently to their children, some moms are a little less patient. Some moms stress the amount of veggies their kids eat, some moms don't. Some moms rock the best baby gear, some mom's don't. Some moms sing to their kids, some moms don't. Some moms always play outside, some moms don't. Some moms work and want to, some moms work and don't want to. It doesn't matter where you fall on the spectrum, or if you change this mom scenario and fill in the blank with your specific situation, none of this matters if you are looking at your life through the right lens, one that shows the rest of the picture.

The rest of the picture shows just how bad a** you are, and how you are probably doing the best you can. Our society would have told that young mom with the non-matching, loose-fitting tie-dye/plaid outfit, messy hair, and no-makeup face, that she wasn't beautiful. That her afternoon wasn't worth "liking." But when I saw her that day, non-matching, and smiling at her baby boy the way she did, I saw the rest of the picture. A mother who did her best to make it to her baby's doctor appointment, a mother who may not have much for herself, but who gives all she does have to her child. A mother who didn't care what anyone was thinking because she was exactly where she needed to be.

If I had taken a picture of her and tweeted it (hypothetically, because I don't have Twitter), or put it on Instagram (my new favorite!), or Facebook, or any other social media outlet, she wouldn't have been portrayed through the same lens she was captured. Her picture wouldn't have been liked by many, there would have been very few approving comments, and some would have judged her along the way...but if I could take social media out back for a sec., and give it some serious sass and a stern talking to, I'd say..."I don't really care what you think you see, or what you think you portray in this one glimpse of this woman, in this mother, because there's absolutely no way you can capture, as hard as you try, the entirety of who you think this woman is, you can't, and you never will. You may not see it, she may not even see it, but she is beautiful, and I bet if she looks at herself with a lens, one that's much better than the false lens you provide her with, one that shows her the rest of the picture, she'd see just how beautiful she is, too."

For when we look at what other people have, and when others look at what we have, that which is shown online, through the internet and it's jaded viewpoints, we have to remember, it's never the full picture. We can't assume we know how good or bad others have it based on their social media sites, and we can't judge ourselves on ours either. We can't forget how worthy, dignified, and beautiful the rest of the picture is. 

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