20/20.

And I don't mean my vision, thanks to my lovely astigmatism that makes finding the perfect pair of glasses practically impossible. Which reminds me, I'm totally due for an eye exam like yesterday.

But, hindsight is what I'm referring to - it really is 20/20.

This was me at 35 weeks pregnant. It's one of my favorite pictures taken during my pregnancy with Marabelle. I'm not even entirely sure why I like it so much, but I think it's because it reminds me of pictures of my mom that I would stare at while growing up, in complete awe. 

I originally wanted to write this post sometime last week, but like my last post pointed out, I've been a little sleep deprived. But more than that, I've been busy being a mommy - stumbling along, having to use 3 diapers in what was supposed to be a single diaper change. But more importantly, soaking up all that is our sweet baby girl and getting to know her more with every passing moment, falling more in love each and every second.

One of my first days home from the hospital, I realized I was no longer pregnant. Duh, Victoria! I know, it may sound silly, but after being pregnant for 41 weeks, I was emotional realizing I was no longer pregnant and our daughter who I dreamt of for many many weeks before I was able to stare into her eyes, was no longer within my womb, but now within my arms. It's interesting because for the whole pregnancy I dreamt of what it would be like to be a Mom and when we heard it confirmed (I say confirmed because I knew she was a girl from day one) that she was in fact a sweet baby girl, I began thinking, dreaming, praying about the precious baby, little girl, beautiful woman that she was and would be. But after giving birth and now having her here with us for 3 weeks, I've met the precious baby who was once tightly carried within me. I think back on all the things I did throughout my pregnancy: the people I spent time with, the trips we made, the rough patches of morning sickness and discomfort I went through, and now that she's here I know WHO specifically was with me throughout it all. Pregnant me knew that I was carrying our daughter, but I didn't know too much about her other than that I loved her already and which time of day she was sleeping and when she was hosting dance party 5000 - my ribs served as a wonderful dance floor. But thinking back and knowing it was her all along, not just an idea of her, but that is was actually baby Belle, makes me feel a level of emotional and a degree of passion where words aren't enough to explain the magnitude of love the heart contains.

The best comparison is when someone quietly impacts your life in a huge way, later discovering who it was all along and you've suddenly never loved or appreciated them more.

I cannot wait for my family and friends who are currently pregnant to experience this for themselves when their babies are born in the next few weeks/months.  It is truly a gift like no other.

Well, Marabelle's nap allowed me enough time to write this but now that she's about to wake up, motherhood calls.

Till next time...maybe I'll have an eye appointment scheduled by then, wishful thinking.

:: victoria marie