in bloom. {part 2}

I'm almost embarrassed that I'm one week short of being 5 months pregnant and I'm just now sharing news of my 2nd pregnancy. I could use the excuse that life is crazy (which it is...and I feel like I'm ALWAYS saying that...am I the only one who feels like their life is constantly go, go, go??? Please, someone, for the sake of my sanity say, "no"), or I could use the excuse that I've been really, really sick, pregnancy sick and sick otherwise with a few annoying viruses, or I could say that I just wasn't ready to write about things until now...and well, the truth is probably cuddling with all three of these lovely little conclusions.

My due date for baby #2 is at the end of September, giving Marabelle and her baby brother or sister 18 months between them. As great and wonderful as that will be for both of them growing up, as a parent and farely newer mama, I know enough to know that the first few months will not exactly be the easiest transition as our family of three adjusts to being a family of four. It's been really interesting trying to make sense of all my emotions in these last few months, juggling my mixed feelings while trying to separate hormones from reality...but thank God for Joseph because if you've ever tried to make sense of your own ramblings, then you've also learned to appreciate the listening ear of someone other than yourself and the calming peace they can bring to the chaos in your mind. And can I just say, what a fabulously wonderful peacemaker my husband is, really.

Even with our passion for the littlest among us, it's only natural to have some fear when it comes to baby raising. Marabelle loves her Daddy, but she's a teeny, tiny bit, of a Mama's girl...so with news of baby #2, I instantly thought of Marabelle and what this ultimately means for her. Baby girl and I spend our days together, so she has my attention almost 24/7. And a new baby/first sibling means shared attention between Mama and Daddy. But really, in the grand scheme of things, sharing her life with a little brother or sister is a pretty incredible thing. As a parent, you want the best for your child. So, even as scary as adjusting to two baby's sleep schedules seem, as emotional as knowing my days alone with Marabelle are kind of numbered, and as nerve-wrenching as worrying about effectively being able to teach two young babies how to share, my excitement for this kicking baby within me and being able to watch Marabelle kiss not just my belly, but hug, protect, and love her sibling, makes all these big thoughts in my head seem really quite small.

You know, love can be quite funny. As beautiful as it is, love can also be so intense sometimes and so demanding that doing things for love's sake can be intimidating, uncomfortable, and even scary. But the best thing about love is when you dedicate your lives to love and laying everything down again, and again, and again for those in your life by loving your God, your spouse/family, and your children more than you love yourself, all the challenges, like lack of sleep due to new babies, become secondary and not nearly as important as continuously striving to love and love well.

As baby girl shared our big news in her own sweet way last week, I was reminded of the most important truth of all. My growing belly is most certainly in bloom, but so is love. If we pause long enough to look around, we'll find love spreading despite the suffocating weeds of fear, we'll find love flourishing despite being apathetically overlooked, and we'll find love growing because love is always in bloom. Baby #2, we love you and we are more than thrilled to welcome you into this little family of ours. For every growing day of yours, our love for you grows, too.

p.s. big sister hopes you like the beach just as much as she does. ;)

::