birth anniversary of mine.

It's here, my birthday weekend is here. And can I just say how much I LOVE being a November baby?! There's something incredibly magical about this month, but I'm pretty sure everyone feels that way about their birth month. Well, on this 24th birth anniversary of mine, some thoughts have come knockin' on my door.

♥ I don't think I've ever been as appreciative for my mother on any other birthday because well, prior to this year, I had absolutely NO CLUE how completely sacrificial birthing a baby and bringing a precious child into the world is, now, I really, truly do. Thank you, Mama - with an understanding and grateful heart, I thank you. Who knew all these years later I'd still be driving you crazy? 

♥ One of my birthday gifts each year is a new agenda, and not a fancy app for my non-fancy phone, but a hard copy, legitimate agenda. One I can doodle and decorate? Yes, please! {Even though I don't have as much doodling time as I used to.} But, realizing it's time for a new agenda means another year has gone by and that's just insane.

♥ I feel bad for the Mr. because I'm the worst girl when it comes to telling someone what I want for my birthday. He's been trying so hard to figure out what I want, but everything I want is either intangible and can't be wrapped, or I have no stinkin' clue. I'm very indecisive when it comes to making decisions pertaining to myself, "What do you want to eat?," "What movie do you want to watch?," and "What do you want for your birthday?" are some of Joseph's favorite questions for me. Hey, at least my answer's consistent, "Umm, I don't know." Consistency counts for something, right? {Cute face}

♥ I wanted to give myself a birthday gift this year and I'm kind of sad, but it's a gift that's not ready to be given. I wanted to have my book finished by this weekend, but when I thought I was almost done, life with sweet baby girl called every second, every minute, every hour, every day, and wait for it...every night. As much as I wish I could have wrapped myself a cardboard box, embellished with a little pink bow, housing an adorable letter with scribbled hearts, swirly-swirls, and dotted-line bumble bee tracks saying, "Thank you, God. You finally did it, Victoria. I'm so proud of you, little self," I'm still proud of my little self, despite my unfinished book status. I've had to put me second and you know what, it's completely and entirely okay. I'll keep chugging along until time throws me a bone. Until then, I'm still thanking God, maybe not for a finished book, yet, but for all the beautiful little reasons I've been so busy, constantly needed, and unable to finish - because, let's face it, she's worth it. My dreams aren't going anywhere, but baby girl's super adorable crawling little behind, is.

♥ It's been such a blessed and spectacular year. I've been both physically and emotionally stretched in ways I thought were only capable for Stretch Armstrong, I've learned the strength of my weak heart, I've met my favorite little princess and her beautiful factor is more than any childhood babydoll could have prepare me for, and I've felt on more occasions than any other year, just how blessed I am to experience today. So, here's to another year of raindrops, prayers, chocolate yummies, agenda doodles, day dreams, family memories, "sparks fly" jam sessions, cooking lessons, windows-down drives, impromptu dance parties, baby giggles, decorating obsessions, and, as always, another year of chasing my writing books dream. Happy birth anniversary to me! And this was me on the night of the CMA's {one of my favorite nights in television...all my favorite artists in one place = almost as great as stores all decked out for Christmas}...so, there's a chance my birthday excitement may look a little something like this.

::

fueling the fire.

Wow. All I have to say is, wow.

Have you ever felt that fiery urge to do something? And if you ignore your gut, you're really only fueling the fire because it just keeps building stronger, stronger, stronger.

For a while now, I've had an urge like this but it's gotten to the explosive level where even if I continue to ignore it, it's going to erupt and massively take over by annihilating everything in it's path. Wonderful. I'm on the brink of a protruding landslide and there's nothing I can do but let it take over while employing its convicting power.

For those of you who know me, I'm finally doing it. I'm finally writing the first book. No more excuses. And even though my time is kinda limited, playing with sweet baby girl and loving her Daddy all the while, time will find me. It has to, because my heart's being summoned and there's no ignoring that invitation.

There are not many songs that aren't distracting while writing, but this one's been particularly insightful lately.

The house is still a mess and me blogging rather than packing isn't really helping the situation. Ah well. Back to labeling, boxing, and taping. "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's back to work we go..." If only a team of dwarfs wearing some serious nightcaps could do our packing...how crazy awesome would that be?

As for baby girl, she says goodnight in the sweetest of ways.

 

goodnight.

:: victoria marie

ablaze.

{ - } Disbelief. Negativity. Rejection. Judgement. { - }

They hurt us all. But, they're especially hurtful when they attack belongings carried closest to our hearts: everything we aspire to be.

The saddest part, however, is that these four destructions are not most common coming from outsiders looking in, but rather are more frequent resonating from the inside-out. To make a long story short, we are guilty of feeling these things primarily towards ourselves. Yes, I went there.

{ + } Faith. Affirmation. Approval. Praise. { + }

These four affections should become the new tenants where the destructive four currently reside.

In a world with much judgement, the fear of failure lurks like a creeper hunching over your shoulder. A big question is, "What will they think of me?" The keyword being they. We are so incredibly good at placing blame on others...when really, it's not other people we need approval from, it's ourselves. If we believed in our gifts, had confidence in our abilities, and had faith in our potential, then what they say would never matter.

Saint Catherine of Siena said, "When we are whom we are called to be, we will set the world ablaze." So basically, when we doubt who we are and all the unique beauty and genius we each individually possess, the world's pretty dark. And I don't know about you, but darkness won't help my nonexistent tan. So, I'm ready if you are - let's light it up! Anyone got a match?

I think Marabelle does...

:: victoria marie

hello world.

All because there’s no better time than the present.

I’m not quite sure why I’ve waited so long to do this, to start this, to type this, to engage in this ambition. Perhaps it’s many things, some that are logistical, others produced by fear. As my lovely husband likes to often remind me, true love casts out all fear - and there’s not much else more profound than this truth.

In an effort to preserve the wheel, rather than reinvent it, this post’s title is borrowed from one of Lady Antebellum’s most recent hits. A song which helps shed light on this busy world we oftentimes get caught up in. It’s a song that reminds us to take a second to reflect, to breathe, and to be grateful for all the hidden beauties we’re too consumed to see.

Whether the beauties are natural gems from the hands of the Creator, like the sounds of birds chirping every morning, or the hidden treasures and talents we all carry within the depths of our hearts. So often, both kinds of beautiful are bypassed. I hope for our world’s sake that more eyes are opened. I hope this not only for myself, my husband, and all my loved ones, but I mostly hope this for my sweet baby girl…soon to be born, Marabelle Victoria. I hope this primarily for her. For the world she will say “hello” to in a few days isn’t always beautiful, but it is most definitely filled with beauty. And mine and my husband’s job will be primarily to help her sort through the junk so she can see the beauty that so fully exists. Will it be easy? Haha, I’ll keep you posted…but I will venture to say, most definitely not. But, we will rock it out dancing, we will kneel it out praying, and we will hope it out leaning on Love - always remembering that Love alone is UNWAVERING and in the end, that’s all that matters.

:: victoria marie