a drive, two years later.

An April day, two years ago, I walked down a long aisle toward this face, toward this man, toward this heart. Gosh, even just looking at this picture, I can still feel the beckoning love in his smile.

And this one where we're holding each other, ready for anything as long as we're together...well, that's what this post is all about.



With as much emotion as our wedding day contained, I wish I could have bottled it up and stored it for all of life's forgetful days. And by forgetful days, I mean all those challenging days when life gets the best of you and you forget how enticing your love was when it found you, how captivating it was when it summoned you together, and how powerful it's strength remains. I secretly envy couples who seem to always be overflowing with affection, those who seem to never fight, those who are consistently warm toward the other. Because if we're being honest, I have plenty of cold days. The Mr. and myself are way too passionate of people to never argue, we're much too stubborn to always forgive easily, and the feminine half of us has too many hormones flowing through her system to make concrete sense of how I'm feeling most of the time. But marriage isn't exempt from bad days, it doesn't call in sick, and it can't take a half day. Marriage is a constant commitment to love, a steadfast decision to choose to love, even when things don't feel exactly lovey dovey.

When days pass by, household chores nag, and stress sets in, it's easy to fall into 'survival mode'...just going about your day with one goal in mind, surviving. That's fine and dandy if it weren't for the fact that we were made for so much more than just merely surviving. We were made to stretch, we were made to share, we were made to delight, we were made to give, and we were made to make the ordinary, extraordinary.

When I catch myself in 'survival mode,' I can't help but notice how I drag Joseph into 'survival mode' too. There's no excitement, there's no passion, there's no warmth, and there's really no fun when all your focus is centered on getting through the day alive. Well, thank God for light-bulb flickering on moments, the ones that wake you up and pull you out of whatever gooey rut your tires seem to be stuck in. For me, my light bulb involved a drive. A drive down country, middle of nowhere, small town Florida roads.

It wasn't where we were going that was enlightening, because well, we really didn't know where we were going. It wasn't how we were getting to this intangible place, because we were basically flying by the seat of our pants. But what made that one hour drive everything it was, were the funny accents traveling through the car, the laughter flowing out the windows, and the family enjoying the company and the drive, together.

In life, we very rarely know where we're going or what the road to tomorrow looks like. But we do know who we want with us when we get there. Two years ago, I didn't vow to love only on good days when endearing sentiments are oozing out of my pores, I didn't vow to love when times are easy and stress is minimal, I didn't vow to love when the mood is set just right and pretty smelling candles light up the room...I vowed to love on ordinary days, on days that push my buttons, on days that exhaust my means, on days when the choice to love is much harder than expected.

Thanks to a drive, two years later,  I was reacquainted with the conviction I had when I walked toward his beckoning smile. Thanks to a drive, two years later, I was reminded of his attributes that told my heart he'd be the best dad. Thanks to a drive, two years later, I was rejuvenated with the joy of our friendship. And thanks to a drive, two years later, I was revived in recognizing that regardless of what our days may look like or how simple or exciting a day may be, a life built on love is not just a battle for survival, but a quest for adventure.

A few things...

♥ The picture of Joseph and Marabelle was taken on Mother's Day while I was getting ready for the day. Finding a Daddy and baby girl photo booth session on my computer 3 days later = just about the cutest thing.

♥ Our wedding pics are courtesy of the lovely Tina Bass.

♥ If you like music that inspires as much as you love writing that inspires, please check out Colleen Nixon, a friend of ours who is a singer/songwriter worth delighting in. She blessed us with her God-given talent by singing at our wedding and she is approaching the final days of her Kickstarter project which is promoting and funding her new album, so if you like what you see and hear (and you will!) please consider helping her reach her goal.

♥ And we are sharing today's post with our friends over at It's Just Called Spicy because sharing is caring. ;)

 

 ::

she will be loved.

This post is written for this beaming sixteen-year-old pictured below.

then.

You've guessed it, that's bright-eyed me at sixteen. And this one goes out to her...

I've been really tired these past few days and with all we have going on, being extra exhausted kinda comes with the territory. But while driving home from work, listening to music on the radio, singing to Marabelle like I usually do, I was silently processing my day, thinking of what I had done and all I still wanted to do. In the middle of itemizing the imaginary to-do-list floating in my head, a song came on the radio and I was quickly shoved in a time machine and transported all the way back to the land of sweet sixteen. I have a love/hate relationship with these abrupt time machine transports that happen unexpectedly while hearing certain song lyrics, it's the same type of memory possession that happens when you pass by old stamping grounds, smell scents from the past, or look at pictures of days gone by...all of which, without your permission, take you back.

Sixth period, dance team, is where this time machine dropped me off. It was an off-day for us, meaning we weren't working on a particular routine, we were just having a little fun. One of the girl's on my team decided to play Maroon 5's, "She will be loved," and everyone in the room got off our bums, and we sang the words as we danced to the beat. And with the excitement oozing from a new-hit song, combined with a room full of overflowing teenage hearts, our singing performance tightly bordered what some would obnoxiously label as 'yelling.' But we each felt the music, we each believed the words, we each wanted to own them, we each wanted to embody them, we each wanted to experience them, and we each never wanted to let them go.

Sixteen-year-old me believed in love, wholeheartedly. She longed to feel beautiful to that one special guy. She wanted prince charming's attention and she hoped his love would always last.

If someone had told me then, that I wouldn't end up marrying my high school sweetheart, time would make me stronger, true friends would stay by my side, if my pants felt too tight, they probably were, and that God's plan for me was far greater than one I could have single-handedly designed, I don't know if I would have believed all of their insightful predictions. Because sometimes it's hard for us to see past the street where we are currently standing.

As I revisited that wooden dance floor and stared into the reflection of my dance team's version of the Maroon 5 hit, I wanted to run up to sixteen-year-old me, tuck back her blonde-highlighted hair, and whisper these words in her ear...

"The woman you hope to some day be, is proud of you, despite any mistakes you've made or have yet to make. Don't spend time sweating the small stuff, you won't even remember the worries that threaten to keep you up all night. You are beautiful, you always have been and you always will be, and don't let any guy make you believe otherwise. You will surprise yourself more often than not. Your words will remain your passion. You'll break hearts and feel heart ache. You'll learn how fragile the heart is, but your hope of forever love is fulfilled by the God who created your heart, trust in Him, always. For His wisdom exceeds any logic your pretty mind attempts to reason with. The world won't always revolve around you and that's the beauty of it all. You'll be a wife to an amazing man and the type of mama you never thought you could be. You'll learn that the best gift you receive, is the one you first give. And on the hardest days, please let love cast out your fears. For when you choose faith, when you choose hope, and when you choose love, you will meet the woman who's whisper this is. So fear not, for the true love you've always believed in, exists, and the woman you dream about becoming, I think you should know, she will be loved."

now.

With a heart full of love,
                     ♡ you, from a few streets down
::

thank you, Love.

Thanksgiving gives us an excuse to thank our loved ones and our Maker for all that we are grateful for, even though, when it comes to gratitude, an excuse is never necessary.

When we count all the little things, which are really the biggest things of all, our thank you list is never ending. But, when I think of what I'm most grateful for, there seems to be a common denominator, Love. And I mean...the real deal, the good stuff, the kind not sold in stores.

When it comes to love, we cannot be fooled, because like with anything authentic, luxurious, and desirable, cheap imitations are produced in mass quantities. But when it comes to love, the cheap stuff will never compare in longevity, quality, and sparkle. So, this year, especially, I'm most thankful for my inheritance of a Love that is true, a Love that is real, a Love that is forgiving, a Love that is fruitful, a Love that is sacrificial, a Love that is patient, a Love that is forever, and a Love that is unwavering - and all the incredible people in my life that I share this kind of authentic Love with, because just like one of the world's finest gems, a girl's best friend, a diamond - nothing shines like the real thing.

I pray your Thanksgiving filled your hearts with as much sincere gratitude, as it filled your bellies with yummy deliciousness. And just because Thanksgiving Day is over when the leftovers are through, our gratitude never has to end. So, thank you, Love, you alone are greater than life.

::

patient for patience.

Our first Tea Room giveaway winner is announced! Click here to see if you've won. 

Last week, baby girl turned 8 months. And much like the first aggressive 'baby on a mission' picture below preciously depicts, 8 months has been one of our most challenging months thus far. My mama self has really felt the demands of this super rewarding job. I always thought I was a woman with very little patience, but after looking back at all the ups & downs we've gone through lately with sweet baby girl's innocent needs, I hope to say I, now, have a small idea of what patience looks like.

In one of it's wise ways, patience is realizing how precious time really is and recognizing that certain thoughts of wanting a moment to pass or quicken, can be selfish if you're not taking into consideration the needs, circumstances, or situation of yourself or the other. Many of us are always in a rush, wanting frustrating moments to quickly pass, or not wanting to be "put out" or effected by someone else's sidetracking situation. Well, If I didn't realize it before now, 8 months has taught me to get over myself. Being a mom is not easy but being a mom really isn't about me, is it?

Love is a selfless gift, an unconditional devotion, a sacrifice offered while not expecting anything in return. As beautiful as the faithfulness of true love is, it's sometimes hard to pursue, truly. Our stubbornness can get in the the way of love and halt us from appreciating where we are and where the ones we love currently are, right now, in this moment. Love's location isn't where we wish to be or wish other people to be, love is in the exact place we are and present where the ones we love are...and to love someone in that way, exactly where they are, while not expecting them to be any different or better than they are right now, is the way everyone deserves to be loved - and this love requires every ounce of patience we can scrounge up within ourselves.

So, for those of us trying to be a little more patient, for those of us wanting to get where we're going, and for those of us wanting someone else to be where we desire them to be...we have to be just as patient with ourselves as we hope to be with others, we have to recognize life is too short not to try to have a little more patience, and we must be patient for patience as it makes it's way into our hard-headed hearts.

::

a natural harvest.

When fall rolls around, there's much to explore.
Wind-blown branches and leaves, pumpkins galore.

Pretty wreaths embellish many American shops.
And it's a popular time to harvest most crops.

But us non-farming folk, must collect from within.
To neglect Divine given grain, would be surely a sin.

So, fall kindly shows us to reap all that we own.
Be mindful of blessings and the joy they have sewn.

For a natural harvest returns what's most dear.
It yields Love, distributes Love, and keeps Love ever near.

::

made for love.

Our lips may be worn red or pink, naked & chapped, or bright and glossy. Some may loudly speak our minds while others are more quiet and reserved. Our eyes may be light or dark, large or small, enhanced with mascara, lashes, and liner, or completely bare. They may be heavy with age, wisdom, pain and suffering, or may be light and easy and bright.  Our ears may be pierced once, twice, three or more times, or not at all. They may have heard lies, gossip, affirmation, laughter, and melodies. Our bodies may be all different shapes and sizes, tattooed with ink or marked by experience, some may have traveled long distances, some ventured only within their home-town. We may dance, photograph, act, heal, play sports, study, fix cars, cook, or teach. We may have purple nails or no color at all, long dark hair or simple and short. We may have lots of friends or a few close ones. We may cherish art or could care less. We may be fashionable or hate shopping all together. We have seen or experienced pain. We have cried. We have been fearful and afraid. We have been joyous and excited. We recognize miracles. We are women and we were made for Love.

We want to be desired. We hope to be accepted. We want to be held. We want to be whispered to. We want someone to listen to what we have to say. We want to be respected. We hope to be admirable. We want others to appreciate us. We want to be cared for. We want to be forgiven. We want to be trusted. We want to be appealing. We want someone to notice. We want to be treated like we were made for Love.

Look into my eyes and don't stop there. Look deep enough and pierce my heart. Stare at me with awe and treat me like the treasure that I am. Be my safe haven, my soft place to land. I may not always look glamorous or perfectly put together, but I am lovely and I was made for Love.

I am woman. I am beauty. I am art. I am receptivity. I am life-giving. I am strength. I am wise. I am wrong. I am right. I am insight. I am passion. I am creativity. I am purpose. I am made for Love.

Reflecting today how we are far from perfect. We have moments we've learned the hard way and times when we were proud of the choices we made. We are each incredibly unique inside and out. We have different struggles, pasts, ambitions, and opinions. But regardless of what we've done and where we've been we are always, always, always, dignified and worthy of adoration. Because even the walls and barriers that may separate and divide us can never dismiss the FACT that we are women, we are beautiful, and we were made for Love.

::

greater than.

Yesterday, June 12, my amazingly stupendous awesomest parents celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary. 35 years, wow! That's a really long time. It's big anniversaries like these that are soooo awesome because you get to celebrate the crazy and inspiring reality that the years you've been married are greater than the years you haven't been...nuts! The majority of your life you've been in love with this person, living life as one, enduring challenges and sufferings, sharing smiles and laughs, being partners and best friends, making a family, and growing together. We only have a tiny taste of this in our one little year, but how stoked are we to keep loving, loving, loving! If it weren't for Mom and Pop's marriage, I would have never known what to look for in a husband, nor would I have had the courage to choose to find a love like theirs. I owe so much to them, their friendship, and their love. Happy Anniversary! We hope you enjoyed your relaxing beach weekend together.

P.S. You owe us some piña coladas!

And after 35 years, the journey continues...

:: victoria marie

needed.

My Very First Easter

I'm totally slacking, I know. I've been a little busy lately, passing the time with family and lots of Easter goodies.

Some of my favorite Easter memories growing up included shopping for the perfect Easter dress, dying Easter eggs, hunting for said Easter eggs, Mass, and beach picnics.

This year I have some Easter memories to add to the 'favorite' list...including baby girl smiling for the first time. Although the camera has yet to capture it, my heart surely has.

And even though it doesn't get any sweeter than baby smiles, I cannot tell you how much sugar I ate this past weekend. Pregnant, I thought my chocolate cravings were bad...yeah, well they've got nothing on my breastfeeding desires - and I mean nothing! Looks like I'll be hitting up the after-Easter candy sales! Chocolate covered peanut butter bunny anyone? :) Now I know where all of Marabelle's little yummy rolls come from!

It's only been 6.5 weeks and she's already grown so much. It blows my mind. And whenever she cries for me because she needs Mommy, it's still so crazy that she's actually crying for flawed & crazy me and that it's my ridiculous self that she needs in those sensitive moments. Talk about feeling humbled and honored all at the same time! But it was a nice Easter reminder that we all need someone and the reason we celebrate Easter is ultimately because we're all in need of perfect love which came to us in the form of the greatest sacrifice ever made, the one we all truly need.

The quote, "I don't love you because I need you, I need you because I love you," has never meant more.

I pray your Easter was one to remember. Here are a few snapshots from Marabelle's first.

mommy love

cousin love

'all we need' love

:: victoria marie

by no means.

beautiful baby Belle - 1 month old.

by no means does it feel like one whole month. 
by no means have I ever wanted to be so much for someone.
by no means have I been the best mommy.
by no means am I done learning what it takes.
by no means did I imagine you to be this beautiful.
by no means did I think someone so little could make my heart feel so big.
by no means could I have known loving you would be my greatest accomplishment.

conviction.

laughter.

ambition.

adventure.

best friendship.

by no means does it feel like a year.
by no means did I think we could laugh this much.
by no means did I think we would cry this much.
by no means did I think I could ever feel this beautiful.
by no means am I done working on my kitchen skills.
by no means am I the perfect wife.
by no means did I know such strength in your faith. 
by no means did I know the value of having so much while possessing so little.
by no means did I know the self-gift of sacrifice.
by no means have I ever felt this free.
by no means have I been this challenged, stretched, and encouraged.
by no means could I have ever imagined love this strong.
by no means could I be more blessed with you as our daughter's father.
by no means 1 year ago today, while vowing to love you forever, could I have forseen this past year's journey and now 1 year later...
by no means can I forsee the bliss of the years that await.

Happy 1 Month, Marabelle.
Happy 1 Year, Joseph.

Without their love, I wouldn't be me.

:: victoria marie

hello world.

All because there’s no better time than the present.

I’m not quite sure why I’ve waited so long to do this, to start this, to type this, to engage in this ambition. Perhaps it’s many things, some that are logistical, others produced by fear. As my lovely husband likes to often remind me, true love casts out all fear - and there’s not much else more profound than this truth.

In an effort to preserve the wheel, rather than reinvent it, this post’s title is borrowed from one of Lady Antebellum’s most recent hits. A song which helps shed light on this busy world we oftentimes get caught up in. It’s a song that reminds us to take a second to reflect, to breathe, and to be grateful for all the hidden beauties we’re too consumed to see.

Whether the beauties are natural gems from the hands of the Creator, like the sounds of birds chirping every morning, or the hidden treasures and talents we all carry within the depths of our hearts. So often, both kinds of beautiful are bypassed. I hope for our world’s sake that more eyes are opened. I hope this not only for myself, my husband, and all my loved ones, but I mostly hope this for my sweet baby girl…soon to be born, Marabelle Victoria. I hope this primarily for her. For the world she will say “hello” to in a few days isn’t always beautiful, but it is most definitely filled with beauty. And mine and my husband’s job will be primarily to help her sort through the junk so she can see the beauty that so fully exists. Will it be easy? Haha, I’ll keep you posted…but I will venture to say, most definitely not. But, we will rock it out dancing, we will kneel it out praying, and we will hope it out leaning on Love - always remembering that Love alone is UNWAVERING and in the end, that’s all that matters.

:: victoria marie