she will be loved.

This post is written for this beaming sixteen-year-old pictured below.

then.

You've guessed it, that's bright-eyed me at sixteen. And this one goes out to her...

I've been really tired these past few days and with all we have going on, being extra exhausted kinda comes with the territory. But while driving home from work, listening to music on the radio, singing to Marabelle like I usually do, I was silently processing my day, thinking of what I had done and all I still wanted to do. In the middle of itemizing the imaginary to-do-list floating in my head, a song came on the radio and I was quickly shoved in a time machine and transported all the way back to the land of sweet sixteen. I have a love/hate relationship with these abrupt time machine transports that happen unexpectedly while hearing certain song lyrics, it's the same type of memory possession that happens when you pass by old stamping grounds, smell scents from the past, or look at pictures of days gone by...all of which, without your permission, take you back.

Sixth period, dance team, is where this time machine dropped me off. It was an off-day for us, meaning we weren't working on a particular routine, we were just having a little fun. One of the girl's on my team decided to play Maroon 5's, "She will be loved," and everyone in the room got off our bums, and we sang the words as we danced to the beat. And with the excitement oozing from a new-hit song, combined with a room full of overflowing teenage hearts, our singing performance tightly bordered what some would obnoxiously label as 'yelling.' But we each felt the music, we each believed the words, we each wanted to own them, we each wanted to embody them, we each wanted to experience them, and we each never wanted to let them go.

Sixteen-year-old me believed in love, wholeheartedly. She longed to feel beautiful to that one special guy. She wanted prince charming's attention and she hoped his love would always last.

If someone had told me then, that I wouldn't end up marrying my high school sweetheart, time would make me stronger, true friends would stay by my side, if my pants felt too tight, they probably were, and that God's plan for me was far greater than one I could have single-handedly designed, I don't know if I would have believed all of their insightful predictions. Because sometimes it's hard for us to see past the street where we are currently standing.

As I revisited that wooden dance floor and stared into the reflection of my dance team's version of the Maroon 5 hit, I wanted to run up to sixteen-year-old me, tuck back her blonde-highlighted hair, and whisper these words in her ear...

"The woman you hope to some day be, is proud of you, despite any mistakes you've made or have yet to make. Don't spend time sweating the small stuff, you won't even remember the worries that threaten to keep you up all night. You are beautiful, you always have been and you always will be, and don't let any guy make you believe otherwise. You will surprise yourself more often than not. Your words will remain your passion. You'll break hearts and feel heart ache. You'll learn how fragile the heart is, but your hope of forever love is fulfilled by the God who created your heart, trust in Him, always. For His wisdom exceeds any logic your pretty mind attempts to reason with. The world won't always revolve around you and that's the beauty of it all. You'll be a wife to an amazing man and the type of mama you never thought you could be. You'll learn that the best gift you receive, is the one you first give. And on the hardest days, please let love cast out your fears. For when you choose faith, when you choose hope, and when you choose love, you will meet the woman who's whisper this is. So fear not, for the true love you've always believed in, exists, and the woman you dream about becoming, I think you should know, she will be loved."

now.

With a heart full of love,
                     ♡ you, from a few streets down
::

available.

Baby girl's needed a lot of extra love lately, teething is no fun. We wish we could take her pain away, but realize it's all part of life. Sometimes growing and changing, even when for the best, can still sting a little.

Reality check for us - this is the first of tough aches and pains, bruises and bumps, growth spurts and stretches for this beautiful baby girl. Not exciting. As precious as she looks with her pouty face, her hurting isn't cute. We can't control her pain or make it stop, we can only be there for her - available to hold her extra tight, kiss her all-the-more, and cuddle her to sleep...but that's pretty much where the buck stops.

My mom may remember my first heartbreak as vividly as I do. She hated that I felt so broken, but she did the little she could to ensure I knew she was there. Although it may not have been much, knowing she was available for girls night out or a trip to the mall made all the difference.

Granted, baby girl's not sixteen with a broken heart, but she is hurting in her own little way and there's not much we can do but be available, with all the extra love we have to give.

Here's to being available for the people we love, family & friends. Because the peace for baby girl tonight was knowing we were there, right by her side. Sometimes the comfort in pain is simply knowing someone is there, someone is listening, and someone is available.

:: victoria marie

goodbye: part 2

Off we go...

Tomorrow morning we say goodbye to Tallahassee. It's crazy. Really, really crazy. I'm forcing myself to write this tonight, despite the fact that we still have SO much to do and SO much more to pack. But I'm making myself sit here and write this because so often we get caught up in going, going, going and doing, doing, doing that we don't ever stop to think about or embrace what's happening until it's already happened. Well, {deep breath}...we're leaving Tallahassee. Crazy daisy.

This place, this city, and this community has meant so much to us and our little family. So much so, that if it weren't for this place, this city, and this community, our little family wouldn't have come to be. And for that grand circumstance, I am forever indebted to this land of Southern charm and natural beauty. 

Are we excited for our new adventure that puts us closer to family, not to mention the beach? Totally. As per goodbye: part 1 - goodbye's can most certainly be good. And even though it's a good move, we're leaving with grateful-for-Tallahassee tattooed hearts. You don't ever really realize when you go away to college the huge potential you have to explode with discovery and growth. But Tallahassee has given me wings, as gross and cheezy as that sounds. I thought I had it all figured out when I first moved here, little did I know the plans God had in store for me on these Spanish moss draped hills.

It's even harder leaving the place baby girl was born. Mom and Pop moved from my birthplace when I was 11 months old, so I obviously had no recollection of my baby days there. But West Point, NY has been and still remains my absolute favorite place in this whole wide world. Not only was I born there, but Mom and Pop met there...sound familiar? Well, I wonder if Tallahassee will be her favorite place since it's the same story for her and Tallahassee.

I really could go on and on about Tallahassee, how wonderful it is, all the people and places we'll truly miss (especially our 1st home as a little family) but we're exhausted, sweaty, and really should probably get back to work...as enticing as that sounds. We'll make it exciting by toasting to our new adventure while recapping our favorite Tally memories.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you Tallahassee. You've given me experiences that stretched and challenged me, a community that was a home away from home, friends with my best interest at heart, great people to look up to, a deeper more appreciative faith, a love and marriage I couldn't live without, a daughter more precious than words could ever say, and the woman in the mirror who stumbled upon the person she was created to be. I owe you big
Talla-classy....I owe you big.

job well done, Tally. job well done.

 :: victoria marie

goodbye: part 1

Are they ever good..."Good"bye's?

Well for starters, they're rarely ever easy.

I've been reminded lately that I'm not the only person who has a hard time saying goodbye. I guess in some way, shape, or form we all do. It's one of the unifying emotions of our raw humanity and at some point in time, we'll all say goodbye to some place, person, house, or relationship. There are many more instances where a goodbye is necessary, but these in particular seem to be most difficult. And for me, there have been a few times in my life where goodbye's were harder than hard.

Some goodbye's are forced upon us, others we choose for ourselves. The ones forced upon us are the hardest, I think. But the goodbye's we choose to say are still emotional, especially for a girl like me who carries memories wrapped tightly in her heart.

After hanging out with young college-bound friends this afternoon, I remembered how hard relationship goodbye's can be. And believe me when I say I've been there and done that. Some people may assume otherwise, but they were never easy for me, especially when goodbye meant walking away for good.

Over the years I've talked to many people about their own relationship goodbye's...talk about a touchy subject - tremendo emotional. Don't hate my Spanglish, I'm a wannabe Cuban...blame Miami. But almost always with relationship goodbye's, you realize there are a ton of words left unsaid. And many people, if randomly surveyed, would probably say they wish things would have ended differently. But point is, they usually don't. There's so much invested when a goodbye is chosen that it's almost a miracle when goodbye's play out exactly how you'd like them to.

But just because they're hard, doesn't mean they should be avoided. Truth is, I think it's important for people to know that "good"bye's can definitely be "good" when you know you're pursuing what's best...bettering yourself or the other, or simply improving a state of being. No matter how scary either may seem, when you leave the known to embark on the unknown you trade comfort for new beginnings. And when being comfortable means not being stretched, it's definitely okay to leave comfort behind. I always like to remind myself and the people I care for that we're all in this together (pardon the High School Musical reference, I'm a Disney kid at heart), you won't be the first or the last person to do anything, and in this case specifically...you're not the first or the last who has chosen to let go.

And just because they're awesome, I was listening to this as I wrote.

to be continued...

:: victoria marie